Contrary to popular belief, guys aren’t satisfied with just getting laid. They want it to be good and exciting too — yes they are demanding. But I aim to please and with that in mind, I convinced a couple of guys I know to confess what they really wish women did more of in the sack.

There are a lot of annoying and frustrating myths that get tossed around about how men think and feel about sex. Most of them are based on extremes and seem to come from a need to put something very complicated in simple terms.

While men might brag to their friends about the kick-ass sex they’re having, they rarely get into specifics. And when it comes to actually divulging their secret desires to the women in their lives … well, they’re even more tight-lipped.

Women, as you know, need time to get revved up. Although your man may be more than willing to pull out all the stops to get you hot, he wouldn’t mind if you gave yourself a running start. “A number of women still believe that it’s solely a man’s job to arouse them,” says Georgia sex therapist Gloria Brame, Ph.D. “To have a really fulfilling sexual experience though, you have to put some effort into getting yourself into a sexual state of mind.”

Desires of men in sex that women must know

I probably shouldn’t do this, but screw it: In the spirit of promoting better understanding between the sexes, here’s deep dark secrets about how men really feel about sex.

1. Tell Him What To Do: This was the most common request from the guys I talked to—they’re dying for a little instruction. Guy parts are different from girl parts and sometimes they need to hearwhat you want. “A lot of the time, mind and body reading is the only way to know what a woman wants,” said one dude. “That’s an art that young men like myself are working on but won’t be able to perfect without some direction or just lots of trial and error.” Likewise, another hunky male friend of mine said, “Every girl is a little different about what they like, how they like it, and at what frequency and pressure. It’s okay to just shout out ‘Hey! Put your tongue here!’ It helps everybody.”

2. Leave A Little Hair: For now, Brazil has won the pubic battle, but some guys don’t want going bare to win the war. “Too many women are too bald,” said one guy. “There are lots of guys that like the ‘70s porn star look. Goddamn, I’ll take a ‘70s porn star—who actually looks like a real woman—over a contemporary porn star—who looks like a plastic cyborg Barbie—any day.” Just a sec, I need to replace my waxer’s number in my phone with this guy’s digits.

What Men Want from Women to do in Bed

3. Channel Your Inner Truck Driver: While you’re telling him what you want him to do and how to do it, get a little filthy with your vocabulary. “I love it when women use any combination of the words ‘c**k, p**sy, wet, come, and all over,’” said one potty-mouthed hottie.

4. Swallow: I would explain this one further, but my mouth is full….yes….

Swallow if you really want to …or pretend to swallow….fake it and slowly spit it…while throbbing your mouth on his penis… let it drizzle all over his penis.

5. Masturbate: I’ll admit it. I kind of like watching a dude jerk off, but sometimes they’re shy about it. Likewise, gals can be bashful about diddling in front of their man—don’t be. Dudes like to watch. Rubbing one out for his viewing pleasure also gives him visual instruction to go along with the verbal mentioned in #1.

6. Rub Him Everywhere Else Too: “I would seriously love the occasional back rub or any unsolicited massage,” said Derek. Yes, his penis is his number one erogenous zone. But don’t neglect his less boneriffic parts—a back rub shows you care about him, not just getting him off.

men sexual desires

7. Be Open-Minded: “Humor us when we want to try something you think is different or weird,” said Tom. “Don’t immediately say no and dismiss it. We’re boys, we’re curious and chances are we’ll try it once and lose interest anyways.” That’s not to say you should give up anal if you absolutely hate it, but if he’s interested in playing with handcuffs or role-playing, for example, don’t automatically dismiss the idea as him being pervy.

8. Don’t Hold Back: With the exception of being on top, most standard sexual positions put the dude in the driver’s seat, in that they’re doing all the thrusting—but that is not any excuse for just lying there. “If you want to be on top, get on top,” said Paul. “If you want it to be more rough, get rough with us. We don’t mind doing the work, but we don’t want to be the only ones who put in the effort.”

Now that we’ve read through that laundry list of requests, what do you wish men did more of in the sack?

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