How to Control Your Sex Drive

Sex is natural gift of reproduction and not for illicit fun. Having an understanding of its spiritual place in our lives saves us from lots of heart aches and pain associated with the wrong use of this precious gift.

Sex is a gift for married couples. In its divine design, it is the exclusive preserve of married couples. It is one of the most engaging activities you get involved in as a married couple.

Outside of marriage, pre-marital or extra marital sex can totally ruin your destiny if you don’t know how to deal with your emotions and sex drives.

Even good married couples can fall into bad habits sometimes. So it is advisable to control sex drive from falling into nympho mannerisms. Less sex also help in restoring energy of the body.

It’s key to tell your partner what you like or want sexually. But people often ignore an “elephant in the room” – an unspoken problem, preference, or dislike. The longer you avoid it, the bigger impact it will have. Whenever you are not interested in excessive sexual demands of your partner, it would help you in future, if you directly convey your concerns to your partner. Higher sex drive only brings shame and unhappiness in married life, leading to sex addiction.

It is observed that over 85% illicit sexual relations happen due to people who have higher sexual appetite.

There are many false beliefs about sex which this article will bring to your knowledge.

Myth busters and ways to control sex

Sex is not commitment

1.    Sex will make him/her get committed to you: Sex is not powerful enough to make anyone get committed to you in a meaningful relationship. If he/she isn’t interested in having a serious relationship with you, seducing, manipulating and controlling him/her sexually will not make them change their minds. Beware of a person who only says ‘I love you’ when he or she is having sex with you. And when you say no he/she gets angry. That is not commitment but lust.

Sex is not commitment

Sex is not maturity

2.     Engaging in sex with the person you are dating will make him/her think that you are a sophisticated and mature person: At this point, the question to ask is: what is sophisticated and mature about sexually transmitted disease, broken hearts and unwanted pregnancies? Maturity and sophistication is the ability to restrain yourself and say no to pre-marital sex. The proof of maturity is really your ability to control your sexual urges in the face of temptation, pressure or emotional manipulation. Maturity is handling the situation amicably not jumping on each other on bed.

Sex is not maturity

Sex is not honesty or controvert

3.    Having sex with him/her will break down his/her resistance causing him/her to open up to you:  Genuine love is the only key that can open a man’s heart. Giving sex instead of that can only lead to misery. If you really want him, show lots of care, affection and develop real intimacy with him. A man who is in love with you and trusts you will not find it difficult opening up his heart to you. Develop trust. Wherever there are secrets, trust doesn’t exist.

Sex is not appreciation

4.    He has contributed to your life financially or materially. Having sex with him will only show how much you appreciate this: Lie! You are not in anyway obliged to do this. If the help he rendered to you was designed to enslave you to later become his sex slave, then break off from him. If he makes you think that you are hopeless and helpless without him, that is a lie. Don’t give in to sexual blackmail. No self-respected women would like to behave like a hooker to please a person. Respect your space and identity. Same goes for men who behave like sex slave to please women and gift expensive items in exchange for sex. Such women love you for money. Forget about touching or sex when you are no more affording her demands.

Sex is not the parameter of being expert

5.    You can keep him/her in a relationship if you are an expert in bed: You can never have him/her under your influence through your sexual ability. Sexual skills does not stop marriages from breaking up, remember? It doesn’t stop infidelity as well. What keeps a man faithful to a woman is his commitment to the integrity of that relationship. Sexual desire fades. You cannot afford to build your life based on this emotion because it is not strong enough to sustain a relationship.

Momentary sex is not memory killer

6.    Having sex with the guy/lady you are dating will make them forget the other person in their lives: If you know he/she has someone else in their lives before you came along and you still insist on dating, you are putting your self esteem to mud. Why should you settle for second best when you can find someone who will treat you with greater respect and honor? No matter what quantity of sex you engage in, he/she is an unfaithful person and will remain so as long as he/she gets free sex from you.

Momentary sex is not memory killer

Simple ways to control your sexual drive

1.    Acknowledging your sexual drive is the first step towards dealing with it.

2.    Cultivate quality friendships with like minded individuals with whom you share the same values.

3.    Get a mentor of the same sex, to whom your relationship will be accountable. You should not enter a relationship that you want to keep secret. Secrecy always results in sin.

4.    Take control of your imagination.

5.    If you are dating and you have challenges with your sex drive, then spend time together in outdoor activities rather than locking up yourselves in indoor activities.

6.    Feed your mind on God’s word.

7.     Do not engage in violent means.

8.     Discuss openly with your partner about your sex drive and perform oral or foreplays to control it.

9.     Read books.

10.   Listen to songs when you are in sexual mood.

Control sex drive - Listen to songs

11.    Think of your partner as a friend and not sex material.

12.    Join an NGO or social work, help and advice needy people. For example: if you are teacher, consume your free time with poor people, teach their children with out asking money.

13.    Be with community or among people. Do not stay alone for longer time.

14.    Respect your wife/husband as life-partner and not sex-partner. She/he means a lot to you than consuming physical needs. They actually shape lives and not sexual fantasies.

15.    Drink lots of water.

16.    This is TRUTH. Internalize this fact 24X7. Sex is momentary (at the max lasts 5 to 15 minutes of fun). You cannot ruin your entire life and precious relationship of years behind bars if you are guilty or in loneliness for crimes that emerge due to higher sex drive.

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