To understand others, we need to have a full understanding of ourselves first. However, human beings are too complex to be understood which place us in an endless circle of understanding and of attempts to understand.

It is critical for us to discern our selves not only because this will lead us to better perception for other people but also because it is the foundation on which we can lay our self confidence on.

Understanding will come in two ways- through our deliberate pursuits or through the acceptance and usage of the chances given to us. Either way, we will benefit so long as we don’t choose to be misguided by circumstances that would try to redirect us to failure.

Obviously, the first step before we truly gain enough self confidence is for us to understand the entirety of being ourselves. This would entail our knowledge of everything that we are capable of doing and everything that we cannot do superbly or we cannot actually do. This also includes our talents, skills, weaknesses, fortes and anything and everything in between. After knowing all these things, you need to accept that these are facts and love yourself and your imperfections.

Keep in mind that no one is ever perfect however he wanted to be. So there is no sense for you to be harsh on yourself over a few flaws that everyone else has. The thing is, we just have to accept everything about us. With acceptance comes the initial cure over low self confidence.

After knowing your stock, the second thing you may do is to appreciate and give proper value on all your attributes. Remember that each of us is a unique being which is perfectly fit to for uniqueness. We only have to be careful of identifying our unique spots and in the process, help them shine from us.

Find an activity that will both contribute to your being and will provide a pleasurable means for you to grow and gain more confidence. Most people tend to go to their talents. It is not necessary that people should know about this but if appreciation from outside sources were your source of motivation, it would not hurt if other people would know. Nevertheless, it is no big deal if you would hide your activity of growth or not. Unless you live in a solitary cave somewhere, people would realize that you are up with something.

A good way to gain self confidence also lies in your goal setting. People tend to set higher goals than what they can truly achieve. This occurs because many believe that by setting higher and often unrealistic goals, they will be motivated to achieve more.

The fact is, with higher expectations come more frustrations. If you still don’t know your mettle, it is best that you set more realistic goals first. Once you have overcome your limits then will you only be able to set higher goals that would test how well you have developed. It is crucial that all our goals are achieved initially since we are trying to gain some things. If we fail at the beginning, we might be discouraged to continue our pursuit.

Taking responsibility over your personal appreciation and your actions are sure paths to gaining your self confidence. You only have to appreciate yourself and believe that you are worth your appreciation.

What Causes Loss of Self-Confidence

There are basically 5 causes and their simple solutions to developing your self confidence.

5 Causes of Low Confidence and Solutions to Building Courage

1. Fear

The number one barrier to having an unstoppable confidence is fear. It might be a fear of failure, a fear rejection or even a fear of success. That’s right, you might be afraid of success and all the responsibilities that come because of success.

But most of these fears are imaginary. The only place these fears exist are in your mind. So stop and think about your fears. Are they real or are you afraid of something that hasn’t even happened yet? If it hasn’t happened yet don’t let it stop you from doing the things you need to do. Face your fear head on and take action.

2. Worry

The next big barrier to a powerful confidence is worry. You might be worried about being perfect, or about what others think or that you might make a mistake. All of these are caused by spending too much time thinking about you. So, stop thinking about you and start thinking about others who need your message. Once you begin to focus on helping others you stop worrying about you.

3. Procrastination

Procrastination will rob you of your confidence by keeping you from being at your best. Every time you leave something to be done at the last minute, it will never be as good as it could have been. If you are going to be at your best you need to determine your priorities and plan your tasks according to your priorities.

4. Indecision

The ability to make decisions is a must for building confidence. Indecision in many situations can paralyze you and render you ineffective. You can change this by giving yourself deadlines to make a decision and sticking to it.

Remember you can always change your decision if new information warrants a change, but waiting to make a decision until everything is perfect will immobilize you. The perfect time will never come.

5. Doubt

Doubt is probably the under lying problem with the other four barriers. Your fear, worry and indecisiveness comes from your doubt in your own abilities. Why should someone believe in you if you don’t?

Acquiring confidence will not be an easy task. It will require patience, work and effort to obtain the confidence needed for your success. But, if you have a strong desire and are willing to make sacrifices you can have unstoppable confidence.


  1. Terror. Primal, overwhelming impulse to flee or avoid any public exposure. Moving up from Terror to Fear is a result of simply showing up. Fear. Here there is at least a sense of what one wants so much to avoid. Standing in the Fear in front of a supportive group relaxes the worst of it into Anxiety. Anxiety. This comes when the Fear has been faced and is abating. Those with the courage to stand in the unease of Anxiety soon find themselves Coping in public speaking situations. Coping. Here the Anxiety is controlled but continues to lurk just beneath the surface. Most people with significant speaking experience, even professionals putting on a great show, live their entire public lives here. Those in the Coping state sometimes transcend to moments of Ease, but they don’t know how they got there, or how to stay there. Ease. Achieving this plateau brings pleasure and freedom in body, mind and soul in front of groups, any time, anywhere. The Anxiety is gone. When moments of Coping return, you know exactly how to get back to it, and naturally move toward Flow. Flow of your content and Mastery in all situations arise naturally from Ease.

  2. Positive Thinker says:

    Think Positive, Act Positive and Keep Smiling. This will greatly enhance your personality. Gradually, you will begin meeting new people with the same positive attitude. With increased good energy flowing all around, your self-confidence is bound to increase on its own. 1. Realise that YOU have the ability to achieve what you desire in life. Most successful people have started out with nothing, and they are just humans like you and I. The difference between people who are successful and those who are not often boils down to making a decision, setting goals, taking action and persevering in pursuit of those goals. 2. Engage in positive thinking. This is one of the key principles to building self confidence. Thoughts that dominate your thinking day on day will eventually manifest themselves as actions or reality in the physical world. Therefore, you need to work on filling your head with positivity on a daily basis. 3. Monitor the results that you are having. Track your progress. Celebrate small wins as you see developments. This is vital, as people tend to forget where they started from and how far they have come. This can lead to frustration if you feel like you have not progressed sufficiently. 4. Write down your primary aim and vision for your future, whatever that may be. Describe it and be specific. If you want to be more confident, visualise yourself as that person and describe your feelings and situations that you want to be different in. Put a deadline on when you want to have achieved what you set out to do. Once you have this written down, make a promise yourself that you will persevere relentlessly until you have achieved it. 5. Do not step on the toes of others in pursuit of your goals. Remain positive and work with others to succeed. Ensure that situations are win-win for everyone involved. Remember that no one made it on their own. Whatever you set out to achieve will inevitably involve others and if you treat them with respect, then you will be perceived as a confident successful person.

  3. Confidence separates average leaders from great leaders. Leaders are expected to make tough decisions. Leaders without confidence stand on shaky ground and lose the respect of the people they are leading. People do not trust or want to follow leaders who lack confidence. On the other hand, leaders with self confidence garner the respect of the people they are leading because of their decisiveness. Are you a confident leader? Here are five traits that you can gauge this by. ::Communication:: Effective communication is one of the keys to being a confident leader. Confident leaders do not have to feed their egos by speaking down to those they are leading. They speak with authority and knowledge. They listen, share information and ensure that there is clarity between him/her and those who are being lead. ::Making Decisions:: Confident leaders do not second themselves – they make decisions based on the information on hand, their vision and their instinct. If the end result was not the desired outcome – they take responsibility for the decision and the outcome – learn from it – move on and optimistically make another decision. ::Intelligent Risk Taking:: Taking intelligent risks, saying what others dare not say, doing what has never been done before – is one of the signs of a confident leader. He/she will courageously take intelligent risks and forge new frontiers – creating opportunities and finding solutions. With each intelligent risk taking the confident leader becomes more and more confident. ::Optimism:: Optimism is the fuel that keeps great leaders focused on the goals for their vision. They know that in spite of challenges, obstacles, hurdles and so called failures, that showing optimism, backed by a specific action plan (not meaningless feel good words) is what good leadership is all about – leadership that empowers. ::Say no to arrogance:: Great leaders know there is a thin line between confidence and arrogance and they err on the side of confidence. In general people despise those with power and arrogance. You will fall quickly from the ranks with an attitude of arrogance. Confidence is the foundation of great leadership – do you need to build yours today?

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