It’s Not Hard to Keep your Penis Pointing in the Right Direction. Just Follow these Easy Steps


A man is well known for his appreciation of tools, their proper maintenance and their most effective use. Which makes it that much more shocking that we fail to properly maintain our own carnal implements, be they mini drivers or diamond studded 12 inch drill bits.


From puberty onward, our tools suffer all kinds of self and outward abuse, from over excitement in tight levi’s to weekend-long bingers with women from whom we caught everything but their names. The result, long term, can be a dulled edge, a balky ball bearing, a flexible extension for the wrench when only a rigid one will do the job. But here we are with tool saving tips that can keep you sharp well into your master craftsman days.


You better pay heed cause if you’re not careful, the woman in your life might just invoke the inviolable rule of tools, the scariest and most accurate one of all: If you want something right here, hire a handyman.


Avoid Penis Shrinkers (Smoking)


Smoking is a known cause for impotence and there’s some evidence that smoking affects erection size. Researchers found that smoker’s have significantly smaller penis sizes than non smokers. In addition to damaging blood vessels, smoking may cause damage to penile tissue itself, making it less elastic and preventing it from stretching. We have yet to hear a better reason to quit.


Get a Vasectomy


If you’re finished producing offspring or you’re sure you don’t want kids, consider investing in permanent renovations at the sperm factory. The risk of contraceptive failure can be a big source of anxiety for some men, especially those who’ve had a birth control disaster or a scare in the past. That anxiety can lead to erection problems and cause the same vicious circle that makes performance anxiety such a mood killer. But if there’s no sperm, the risk of pregnancy is beyond minuscule. A properly performed vasectomy has an effectiveness rate of 99.9%.


Fire your Mistress


It’s common for men who start having affairs to stop having erections so common in fact, that doctors who treat erectile dysfunction often ask their patients if they’re getting any action on the side. Unless your wife knows about, approves of, and participates in your new sex life in which case we’d like to meet her you’re bound to feel at least a little guilty about it when you’re with her. Guilt can turn to anxiety, and that can kill an erection.


Lose your Fat Gut


Besides the monastery, having diabetes is the quickest route to a lifetime of celibacy. In fact, more than 50% of men who have diabetes are impotent. The disease hits the penis with a double whammy. It accelerates the process of arterial disease, and it slows the transmission of stimuli along nerves throughout the body. And a numb penis, is not a happy penis.


Staying trim is the best way to avoid diabetes. However, if it’s already too late for that, be vigilant in checking your blood sugar. Men who are sloppy about controlling their levels have 70% more erection problems than those who stay on top of it.


Stop Ramming Your Penis into Hard Objects


One vigorously misplaced thrust is all it takes to rupture the corposa cavernosa, the elongated ‘erectile chambers’ that run the length of the penis. Don’t believe it? Try aiming your erect penis at the trunk of a tree. It’s roughly the same density as your partner’s pubic bone. A complete rupture will require surgery within 24 hours to stop internal bleeding and reduce the risk of permanent damage.


A partial tear isn’t as serious, but it may cause problems later on. As the linings of the corposa heal over with scar tissue, they lose their elasticity, leading to curvature pain, and eventually impotence. By some estimates, more than a third of impotent men have a history of ‘penile trauma’. To protect yourself, be careful when she’s on top. That’s the position most likely to cause damage.


Get Some Exercise


Start walking. In one study, researchers found that men who walked just three kilometres a day had half the rate of erection problems of more sedentary men. Twenty minutes of jogging or 30 minutes of weight training will work too.


Deposits that clog or stiffen penile arteries can wilt an erection faster than Patricia Lewis. Guys tend to think of their arteries as simple pipes that can become clogged, but there’s a lot more going on. The linings of those blood vessels are very biologically active areas where chemicals are being made and released into the bloodstream. The more you exercise, the healthier, cleaner and more flexible those linings become.


 Fall Asleep Immediately after the Last Thrust


You hate to give up on one minute of post coital pillow talk, but ultimately you’re going comatose for her. Your penis needs as much shut eye as it can get. Every night while you sleep, you will have between three and five hour long erections. Those erections are not just there to make life interesting for your bedmate. They actually work to recharge your penis, keeping it well nourished with oxygenated blood. The more nocturnal erections you have, the more flexible your erectile tissue will become. And that may help keep erections strong as the years wear on.

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