The idea of dating a woman with a child can be pretty scary, if not horrifying to many a male. But it shouldn’t be. You see, mothers are real people, too. In many cases they are also women. Crazy, isn’t it? The stigma that attaches itself to single mothers is the word “baggage.”
But that’s not really the case, most times. In these times, especially in America, single motherhood is more pervasive in our society than it ever has been. There was a time when single mothers were a rare sight. Today there are over ten million single parents in America today. It’s proof that the dynamics of the traditional family have changed and continue to evolve along with social norms.
Some women got no choice when their spouses died or when they have to go through divorce. Becoming a single mother is considered a natural outcome of things. Some single women, on the other hand, have chosen to keep their babies and become single mothers. No matter how things turned up, these women can still search for a new love. Problem is, most of men often don’t realize that they have these issues when dating single mothers.
That said; why not date a single mother?
First of all, you should be open minded, ready to give her space, so I m listing down, what things men should know when they decide to date single mothers.
Study in Index
How to Date a Divorcee/Widow Woman
1. Time issues in Dating a Single Mother
Since single mothers obviously have to look after their child(ren) and keep their house in order, not to mention they also have to earn the money to keep things running, their daily routine might outweigh a big company CEO’s workload. Such busy schedule not only drain their life-force but also pile up exhaustion and aggravation. You may find when dating a single mother she tends to forget about some things related to you or important to you.
Furthermore single mothers don’t have the luxury of being ‘pretty’ anymore, this will make them lose their confidence and making dating single mom a challenge because you have to deal with her low self esteem too.
So to overcome this, the first thing dating single mothers must do before jumping into dating life again is to take time to make herself attractive again. After that, she must ensure she can afford time to meet people and make room for the relationship to grow by using babysitter services or getting help from relatives. Thus, men will understand these dating single mothers are in for commitment.
2. Attention Issue When You Date Single Mother
However, after getting a date, more problems may lay bare on dating single moms’ path as they may take over the whole conversation during the date with stories and complaints about being a single parent. In case both are single parents; occasional stories of your child can act as a reminder of your status, dates still act a get-to-know-EACH-other way, not a place to make speeches about how miserable your life is as a single parent dating. Though the dating single moms’ side will feel better after venting out, such blabbers are best kept for therapy sessions or dating single moms’ gatherings.
3. Financial Issue When Single Parents Dating
When love has finally taken root in each other’s heart after several dating sessions, one other issue that may emerge with the change in social norms where each side of the party need to contribute financially instead of men being gentlemen like in the past.
Unlike the two previous issues which stress on what dating single mothers should amend on their side, this third issue should be considered together as a couple. As stated above, dating single moms are already trying their best to keep their life (and their child(ren)’s life) going. Any additional financial contribution in anything, not just in forming relationships, might be fully out of the picture for them. Therefore, dating single moms must relay that message to their possibly future-spouse so both parties can reach good standing for long term relationships.
No matter how dating single mothers see thing, the opportunities of developing new relationships are always available if they can make time for oneself and turn their attention to their lovers-candidate albeit women who have succeed in getting over these issues might be a little more selective in choosing a potential partner.
4. Priorities of a Single Mother in Dating
I have dated a couple of single mothers so do know few of their thought processes. I’m also friends with some of them. And, to be fair, it’s inherently different than dating your standard issue single female. Not to say that there is such a thing as “standard issue single females…” Never mind. I’m not stepping on that landmine. More to the point, dating a single mother is a bit different. It’s different because, obviously, a single mother has other, more important, priorities that far outweigh any that might include you. Giving a space of comprehension to understand each another can be challenging, too, for a single mother. Also, there may be the aspect that the father is “in the picture,” as well. These are not made to sound like “downers” or “strikes” against dating a single mother, merely differences to be aware of. On the other hand, single mothers know a thing or two about balancing life’s pleasures and rewards with the people they love. Also, a single mother knows what love is, real unconditional love; they are more ready to give this sort of love and attention as well.
It is better to understand her behavior before making a commitment. If she is dominating and you are submissive then it may work, otherwise, you could start on a graceful note and end argumentatively. Most of the times, giving up to her nominal demands works then she starts giving up her space to you.
5. Security Factors in a Single Mother Date
When dating a single mother you must be up front with what you are looking for. Many single mothers are looking toward the future, with their children in mind, when it comes to relationships. That is, a single mother will look to find a suitable partner that can provide and be a good father to their children. There’s nothing wrong with that and it’s totally normal. However, if you are not looking for that sort of relationship then you need to be up front because the stakes are always higher when children are involved.
If both you and the single mother are okay dating casually, then that’s fine. Her children aren’t really a part of the picture in that type of relationship and you can dater her and, to a degree, separate her role as a mother from that of being a single woman.
However, if you both decide that you want to make a serious “go” of a relationship then there are considerations to be made. For instance, remember that the single mother sets the rules for her children. It’s important to respect those rules and not undermine them. Also, it’s probably a good idea not to reprimand her children without her permission. And if you do, never be more firm than the mother. If the father is in the picture, do try to be cordial and friendly, regardless of any negative things you may hear. Respecting his role and values he wants to instill in his children will go a long way to making this type of relationship work. It’s also important to understand what a single mother’s expectations are of you. If she needs to have the kids taken to the doctor and she can’t for some reason, will you be expected to step in and help? I know most women will cringe at this next part, but it’s an important topic. Will a single mother expect some help from a financial standpoint? Raising kids ain’t cheap and it’s natural to ask for help if it’s available. This is not to insinuate that a single mother can’t be self sufficient, I know single mothers who are and some who are not. It’s a fair question and expectation to pose to someone who’s going to be a part of the single mother’s future as well as those of her children.
Take Away in Dating a Single Mother
Open up your intentions. Let us again highlight another important aspect, the maturity level of a single mother is usually on a higher side. A single mother goes through an incredible amount of stress each day, just trying to get things done and raising her child. If you are looking for a sexual pleasure then be upfront with her.
It could be a case that she is also looking at you as a stress buster pal to fulfill her lustful desires. It is always good to be a honest man; not to cheat a person emotionally or financially.
However, if you are looking for a real woman who knows how to take care of herself and her family, a single mother is the way to go for a serious relationship!
