Labor Day ~ 2005
When, a couple of years ago, I wrote an article about my dread disease, I still had not fully comprehended how disabling Perminant Progressive MS can become. I had come to realize that my denial had delayed acceptance of the diagnosis, my fear had stampeded me to stupid decisions, and had found ~ by writing a novel ~ I could dispel depression. Yet, I could still walk, a little, and figured I would bounce back soon.
Reality catches up with most of us ~ sooner or later. Not that it is easy to accept. Although the ‘Docs’ said I had already passed from relapsing remitting MS ~ to Perminant Progressive MS ~ I thought I’d make a rather rapid comeback. Little did I know that I would become even more dependent upon another who deserved less defiance from one she had committed to share life with.
When I went from a cane to a four wheel walker ~with a seat ~ her stress level dropped dramaticly. I fell down a lot less too. My handicapped, motorized scooter had long since been dispensed with when I had left real estate and had decided I wouldn’t need it. Now, I have another. Now, I have a hard time getting out of the wheelchair onto it.
Perminant Progressive MS (Multiple Sclerosis) it’s called. “Progressive” has surely taken on more meaning ~as I can no longer walk ~ even with the walker. Accepting life in a wheelchair is a tough one. So is accepting the fact that keeping honeybees for BVT (Bee Venom Therapy) is not a realistic option for those of us that must now reside in apartments. “Perminant” is still not a diagnosis or concept that I am willing to accept.
Maybe, admitting to myself that I needed to use disposable briefs was the most major challenge? My caregiver’s sensitivity to provide a sightly container ~ rather than stack my diapers in a conspicious place (like on the back of the toilet) ~ has made my right decision less embarrassing. Her rapid removal of soiled disposables helps too.
Like most of us MSers, I continue to seek the “Silver Bullet,” that non-traditional cure that conventional medicine ~ which says there is none ~ doesn’t embrace. Okay, I have tried a few. Although some other MS victims have experienced significant improvements from these, Silver water, LDN, and various supplements, they haven’t worked for me. There are many weapons in the arsenal that I have yet to try.
Perhaps, my best weapon is faith? As Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen,” I continue to keep on hoping I am led to the answer of renewed health for myself. I also believe that I am where a very good God wants me to be ~ for His reasons.
If you have found my article because there is something in it you were supposed to see, I am delighted to have been of some small service. You might want to visit the website I am learning to build and attempt to maintain http://MilesBooks.com where other information awaits you.
To those of you who are affected by others with Multiple Sclerosis, I ask that you be patient with him or her. Pray for us. Hope we become more sensitive to how our compromised conditions impacts others ~ and that we make internal adjustments which will will be reflected in our outward actions.
For those who have Perminant Progressive MS, expect challenges. Accept ~ without resentment ~ the helps and aids which are made available. Become less of a problem for those who attempt to help you.